I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Randomize
