i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
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Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
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What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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