This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
