When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
