my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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