2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Just cropdusted the office
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
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