I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Randomize
