Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Randomize
