you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
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