I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Randomize
