the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
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