All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
