I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
