Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
it was like his penis was on wheels.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
