He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
