there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I need a hoe opinion
go on
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
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