I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
