He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
