On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
