i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize