Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
