Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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