South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
