Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Randomize
