I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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