Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
