So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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