Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Randomize
