Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
If I die, sorry about rent.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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