Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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