So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
