If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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