Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
