AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
