There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
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