I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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