Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
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