I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
