just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
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