Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
