They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
