evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Randomize
