would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
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