Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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