he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
