I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
