im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Also, beer. Big fan.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
