You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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