he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Randomize
