talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
