i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Randomize
