i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Randomize
