Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
