This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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