this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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