omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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