Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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