Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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