so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize