After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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