people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You took a bar mat shot.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
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