My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
