Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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