he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
