I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
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Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
I have fence marks all over my body
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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