he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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