Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Randomize
