Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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