"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
