cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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