how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
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